Since June 2009,
when I happened to have my first flight travel, I have frankly lost count of
them. But I am sure with the going rate, I could be close hitting a half
century. 95% of them would be business-related trips, and one peeve which has
left me amazed at the consistency and omnipotence of human impatience is the
time when the aircraft lands on the runway. So in the chronological order,
here's what happens: invariably, irrevocably -
9:45 PM - the plane
lands. However soft the landing is, there are people thanking the almighty with
a conspicuous gesture, making us others feel as if we are taking our lives for
granted. Gosh.. Seriously wish the Pilot doesn’t see this footage anytime in
his life. His inferiority complex indicator would shoot even higher as compared
to a bad appraisal meeting with his boss
9:46 PM - You can
smell "IMPATIENCE" in the air. If there was paid facility to teleport
these 'kidnapped' ladies and gentlemen from the plane to the baggage conveyor,
I am sure the airline sector would have become the Google / Microsoft of the world,
in terms of revenues. Everybody ready to spring out of their seats !
9:47 PM - even
before the air hostess has finished speaking -"...welcome to the
airpo…" the passengers are up, and everybody seems to be doing some kind
of neck-stretching-exercise-maneuver. There is a race to be the FIRST TO ESCAPE THE AIRCRAFT.
What I fail to
understand is that what will an extra 2 minute delay do to the career
aspirations / emergencies / life-saving intentions of my respected
co-passengers.. Craning that neck of yours at 164 degrees just to get that
handbag of yours, after a flight time of 3 hours is not medically advisable,
I believe. Could you have waited for 25 more seconds, dear mister !
9: 55 PM -
Sidhivinayak / Tirupatibalaji temple will get a tough competition when it comes
to "queue chaos" once the baggage conveyor whirls into motion. One
can easily make out these segments of junta
- One who keeps on checking the tag of EACH bag which passes by.. Looks like the case of Ghajini, who cant remember the color / make of his / her bag and needs to verify all before making a decision of ownership. Maybe a Polaroid Camera given complimentary to such hapless being should be a part of the CSR policy of airlines
- One who feels that intense sense of insecurity - maybe her "दादी माँ के गहने " are in a bag, which is similar to 10 other bags, and some jerk could carry it away in a case of mistaken identity
- One who feels the conveyor speed should have been twice the speed of the autorickshaw - "bohot slow chal raha hai yaar"
- One who forgets the total no. of bags and then 15 minutes after leaving the conveyor, remembers -" Tunnu ki amma, tunnu ka pink wala bag tumne kaha chhodd diya ?"
To
top it all, not sure if this all happens "only in India".. Have seen
a lot of firangs also contagious to such behavior.. Maybe I will catch this
fad sooner or later :)
